Lessons Learned Digging in the Dirt

May 13, 2018

Lessons Learned….this started as a “Digging in the Dirt” experience that evolved into a “When Freshwater Refreshens the Spirit” lesson. Vidal and I began the process of tearing down our old fence and constructing a new one a month ago. Our initial plan was to hire someone to take on the task as he is completing a custom automotive upholstery job and at least five other projects that have come in the meantime. Two of those jobs required that we work overnight in order to accommodate the business’ operating hours. These crazy hours prompted Elias to ask while he was helping us, “Dad, you do know you’re retired, right?”
If you want to test the strength of your marriage, build a fence with your husband. Oh, did I share that he’s a perfectionist, sprinkled with a dash of OCD, a smidgen of ADD and topped with a layer of thinly disguised sarcasm? 🤤
I have certainly had to put into practice 1 Corinthians 13:4.
My plants were getting stepped on…”Love is patient”; others uprooted…”Love is kind”; I learned how to use a post hole digger….”Love is patient”; removed old posts with cement attached using a shovel and brute strength……”Love is kind”; must use the level on every single slat before tacking it into place…”Love is patient”; we will predrill each and every hole before securing said slats with screws….”Love is kind”; I will ask your opinion but will ultimately do it my way….Love is patient AND kind”.
My emotions were all over the place with this project, the rollercoaster ride of grieving another Mother’s Day without my mom at the same time rejoicing in the gift of the two people who call me “mom” and the two bonus children who love them. A weary spirit isn’t always the most gracious one.
On that water today, I clearly understood verse 7…..”It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” My love and respect for Vidal has kept me from saying things I was thinking in my head. It wasn’t always easy but it certainly has prevented many arguments. I have to trust the decisions he’s making, although not always verbally articulated clearly are in our best interest. My hope is that in demonstrating this love even when it’s difficult will strengthen our bond. And finally, our love will persevere until this task is complete. 😀
To be fair, the fence looks amazing and it’s been a great learning experience. Next project….our roof needs to be redone. I don’t think I’m ready for that lesson.
Truly love one another even through the storms and be blessed y’all!

Lessons Learned Digging in the Dirt

April 9, 2017

Spring, summer, fall and winter-each season has its purpose and time. Admittedly, in Texas the marking of one overlaps the other, is indistinguishable, and more often than not, all felt in a single day. Spring bursts with new life, renewed growth, and joyful color to wash away the cold greys of the previous three months. Summer emboldens the water wise and drought tolerant plantings to dance with beauty. Fall prepares for what’s to come; seeds drop, growth slows, preservation of oneself begins for the chill ahead. Winter tests patience, endurance and faith as chilling winds envelope everything around us. That’s when it is especially important to remember our worth and purpose. We don’t cease to be who we are when our seasons change; we grow, we learn, we persevere, and then bloom again in our spring. We thank you for helping us honor/celebrate the closing of one season in Vidal’s life and encouraging him onto the next.

Richard was Vidal’s trainer 28 years ago and remains a dear friend.

Carol and Lori were in Academy Class #213 with Vidal and have served alongside him all these years.

Beautiful cakes made by fellow officer and dear friend, Christine.

Our little family minus one for whom the Army had other plans.

Lessons Learned Digging in the Dirt

March 20, 2019

This season I believe the weeds outnumber my plants and have nearly over taken some areas of our yard. Taking advantage of the last five days of beautiful weather and anticipating spring’s first rainfall this weekend I have been on my hands and knees pulling, coaxing, and yanking these eyesores. In one small area of our yard these unwanted guests had settled in and were well on their way to becoming permanent squatters.
I sat down and pulled one weed, then a second, and after removing the third, there it was; one tiny blade of carpet grass! I was elated. I just couldn’t let this tiny fighter suffocate. I continued clearing around it following its creeping stolons and it brought me joy knowing not all was lost. It has been tedious work and my wrist has protested, especially late at night; however, the hope that these surviving patches of green will thrive with spring rains and mild temperatures makes me happy.
It reminded me of Abraham pleading with God for the righteous people of Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 18:16-33.
I am willing to return to that small area of landscape and meticulously remove these noxious invaders because of a few viable plugs of sod. Imagine how much more our Lord longs for those buried in weeds and patiently equips others to plead for, pray over, and minister to them?
Plant seeds of hope and salvation, nurture them with prayer, and minister with loving gentleness; someone buried in weeds of hopelessness may need you today. Be blessed y’all!

Lessons Learned One Stitch at a Time

March 17, 2017

We’ve lived in Texas our entire lives and continue to discover places we’ve never heard of or explored. Such was the case with the City of Crockett before taking on our latest job and in turn Davy Crockett National Forest. We wrapped up our work around noon and set off on an adventure. Our first stop, Trade Days, a small flea market. It didn’t take long for that small town friendliness to show itself and before long we were in deep conversation with these kind locales. I’m not quite sure how small talk led to our common experience of caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s but I can humbly say the shared exchange left all involved feeling blessed for the chance encounter. Upon their recommendation we continued east to Ratcliff Lake Recreation Area. Arriving at a national forest without prior reservations during spring break season is probably not ideal. However, we figured we would drive through the park and check availability. We were quickly intercepted by two volunteers who asked the standard, “Do you have reservations? How long will you be staying? Is it just the two of you?” Our reply, “No sir, one night, yes sir and two dogs.” With a slight grin, the gentleman quizzing us replied, “Well, this park only has 26 spots, you can stay in #27.” Kindness goes a long way…..don’t be afraid of sharing your struggles. You may bless someone with your strength or be blessed knowing someone else has overcome the barrier you are fighting. Be gentle with your responses and attitude towards others. You never know when your kindness will be returned. Thankful this evening for this beautiful resting spot among the east Texas pines. Be blessed y’all!

Lessons Learned while Marking Miles on the Map

March 4, 2018

We spend a lot of time rolling on the blacktop and floating on the water. We have enjoyed every adventure we’ve experienced on land and afloat. We are also tremendously respectful of the hazzards of both.
Vidal is meticulous about routine maintenance, carrying necessary tools, and ensuring tow insurance is current for the boat. He had to utilize Sea Tow http://seatow.com once previously while on open water but today was different.
We had just passed the I35 split to continue onto I20 in Lancaster when rough road conditions bounced us a bit. It was the dragging sound that remained after the jostling settled that drew our attention and concern. We took the first available exit and pulled into a nearby gas station/ convenience store. We had guessed what may have happened to the trailer but we would quickly learn none of our ideas were correct. To our dismay, the tongue of the trailer had snapped in two. Upon closer inspection we determined without safety chains, the boat would have just kept rolling on down the highway. We took a deep breath and gave thanks to God for the averted consequences.
A phone call to Sea Tow confirms we are eligible for towing. A two-hour wait serves as an opportunity to perform housekeeping chores that would have to be done when we got home anyway.
Another blessing is that Vidal has a friend who owns a welding shop http://dallasmetalfabricators.com and he advises to have the boat towed there and he’ll begin repairs in the morning.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Be blessed y’all!

Lessons Learned when Saltwater Soothes the Soul

February 28, 2018

Our first three days on the beach were marked with dense morning fog, intermittent rain, never-ending winds, and dismal fishing. We remained undeterred; we were together and seeking to make the moments count.
Swells larger than my comfort level kept us within 100 yards of the jetties. A trip out to the oil rigs would not be experienced this time around. Chalk it up as a win; any time spent on the water is a great time. Quiet joy fills me watching Vidal and Elias take part in an activity in which my father-in-law was so passionate. He would be beyond proud witnessing his grandson’s boating and fishing skills.
Boondocking this close to the water’s edge the sound of waves breaking on the shore is a melodic symphony to the senses. Night sky, chairs in the sand, drinks of choice, loved ones around the campfire; does it get any better than this?
Conversation flows easily, laughter erupts between fishing tales, debates over whose fishing skills are superior, plans made for future trips and then, quietly a sense of humbleness hovers in the air. If you truly want to know where your children’s hearts are on any given subject listen, really listen as they share their thoughts. Discover how those little eyes, ears and minds you once held in your arms and nurtured in your home equipped them with wings and courage to build their own foundation for living.
Those same wings you helped form will one day propel you to new heights. Vidal’s brother joined him and Elias for a day on the water while Kelli and I were tasked with motorhome duty. I know how to dump the black and grey tanks, fill the the fresh water tank, have the propane tank filled and I’ve driven our home on wheels countless of times…on the highway, not narrower than balance beam city streets! With Vidal’s mantra, “it’s just a big car” ringing in my ears, Elias’ encouraging words, and Kelli serving as my co pilot, off we went. Kelli and I learned we work well together, we’ve decided we’re driving to El Paso, kidnapping Andie, and going on a girls’ camping trip soon.
Our fourth and final day is brilliant. Sun shining, calm winds, and a new type of fishing adventure for the boys. Our college classmate and locale resident is taking them wade fishing in the bay. An opportunity to learn new skills is always welcomed. Blackened flounder for dinner? Yes, please.
The elements were irritants for sure; but even the oyster uses them to create pearls.
Precious pearls of memories were made; treasure for our hearts. Be blessed y’all!

Lessons Learned while Leaving Footprints in the Soil and the Soul

The last entry of this series.

August 17 – 20, 2019

We wrapped up our European adventure by exploring Barcelona for four days. There is never enough time to fully explore a city of this size fully steeped in history, architecture, food, and culture. Just as in Paris, Pamplona, Burgos, and Leon we are left with a feeling of “if we had one more day.”
We are staying in a hostel for the last time. A blessing that fell into our laps. We are in a private room with four beds one block away from the waterfront. True to Vidal’s sense of exploring, our love of the water, and not having had enough hiking 🤷‍♀️ we took to the ground to explore the harbor front and the maritime museum our first full day. We closed the evening with a Mediterranean sunset cruise.
Upon the suggestion of several friends we toured the Bascilica de la Sagrada Familia. We were not prepared for the overwhelming emotions that overtook us as we stepped into this magnificent church. Velma, you told us it would be like nothing we’ve ever seen in our lives. I didn’t understand the fullness of your statement until that moment. The intellect of Gaudi’s design and the the ability of those who have and continue to assist in completing his vision is mind boggling.
We have fallen in love with Spain and hope to return one day. Perhaps we will walk the Camino Norte (along the coast), witness the completed renovations to the Catedral de Santiago de Compostela and La Sagrada Familia. Explore the many other cities and coastal towns we didn’t have an opportunity to visit. Until then, we are so happy to be home and it truly has been a Buen Camino. Be blessed y’all!

An “Elias cat boat” at entrance to Maritime Museum.

Cross of St. James will always hold special memories.

It’s been a treat expanding our pallets.

Time to return home; hearts full of blessings.

Lessons Learned while Sifting Through Memories

This is the very first entry that planted the seed for this entire Lessons Learned journey.

January 3, 2013

Our family began a new journey a little over ten days ago. Anyone who has loved and/or cared for an elderly parent with a long term illnes coupled with memory loss most likely has more wisdom than I. However, I have decided I am going to write down bits of wisdom, humor, and insight we gain along the way and challenge myself to find a passage in the bible that relates or speaks to me. I am going to hold Christ’s hand and your love, prayers, messages and texts in my heart – I am reassured knowing I wil have all of this when the dark moments come. Be blessed ya’ll.

Lessons Learned When Paw Prints are all that is Left on Your Heart…..

I struggle writing and posting this because it’s not supposed to be this hard losing a fur baby. Our sweet Moxie girl was a hunter at heart. She would follow me everywhere as I worked in the yard. She would hear the click of the sliding glass door lock and knew it was safari time. Lizards, grasshoppers, June bugs, grub worms, and even a couple of opossum had to use their survival instincts to escape her prowess. Except the squirrels…..those little critters remained her nemesis. So much so, that her focus on one caused her to chase one into the street. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
I have already played every should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, and if only in my heart and mind more times than you can imagine. It does nothing to ease the pain or keep the tears from falling, at least not at this moment. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
Moxie adopted my husband shortly before he retired. At the time plans were already in motion to bring ZaZu (our grandog) home from Georgia as our daughter and son-in-law had two small pups that ZaZu had no desire to put up with. Our little old man, King ZaZu was going to rule our home, or so we thought. Despite my husband’s protests that we would never have another dog after Encino and my determination not to fall in love with her, Moxie’s one floppy ear and feistiness won us over in a matter of days. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
Moxie has traveled with us from the Rio Grande Valley in the southernmost parts of Texas, to the Pineywoods in the east, Palo Duro Canyon in the panhandle and her all time favorite (and ours) hiking and Jeepin’ in Big Bend. Her travels didn’t end with the Lone Star State as she was a part of each of our adventures since my husband’s retirement. She and Zazu are our travel buddies. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
It’s not supposed to be this hard and yet it is. Our intellect tells us she was loved, cared for, and given her best life the last three years; the ache in our hearts tells a different story. I’m certain the tears will come and go as we, and ZaZu adjust to the void Moxie’s death has left in our home and hearts. She will not be forgotten or replaced. The sly look she would give before attempting to do something she shouldn’t. The way she would hold onto ZaZu’s collar as he tried to return a fetched ball. Her daily vicious attack on the mail as the mailman would playfully push and pull the letters through the slot in the doorway. Her companionship on the work table as my husband sewed late into the night. Her eagerness to ride shotgun any time she heard a motor turn over. Her boldness to ride at the bow of the boat. So many stories….it’s not supposed to be this hard.

The Journey Begins

December 2013 began a journey of many steps, emotions, and lessons. My husband and I, along with our two children when they were home from college, became my father’s full time caregivers. My husband had not retired at the time but insisted that my father would be coming to live with us. You see, sadly, my father was succumbing to the disease known as “the longest good-bye” or alzheimer’s. In the midst of all the challenges of care-taking I found respite playing in my garden. I shed many tears, cried out to my Lord in petition, sang words of praise, worshiped intently, and found healing for my soul. Thus the series “Lessons Learned Digging in the Dirt” was born. The other Lessons Learned series followed as I became keenly aware of the education I could receive by opening my heart and eyes. Enjoy exploring and thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton